1) Buy a heinous beaded 80s sack dress from the internet.

2) Cut off sleeves and shoulderpads

3) Rejoice in your fabulous flapper self!

My boyfriend said to me upon taking this picture – “I love you, but that is the ugliest thing you have ever put on”. Can’t disagree.

Of course, I had to make my life infinitely more difficult. First, I didn’t realize when I bought this dress that it is a top and skirt, so I’ll need to attach the two together (after chopping a few inches off the top, since it hits too low, and chopping a few inches off either the top or bottom of the skirt. Which also needs gathering, since the elastic is totally broken).

Also, it had sleeves that are cut in one with the top, so I couldn’t just remove them at the seam, and had to cut them off. Which means I need to hem the new armscye, and have you tried hemming two pieces of chiffon together? PAIN AND SUFFERING. Seriously I removed a few dozen sequins by hand to give myself seam allowance. And now I am doing a rolled hem on the outer chiffon, and am going to tack the inner chiffon on after.

If this wasn’t so obscenely pink and cute I would buy a new 80s dress and can this one.